Yami Bakura's Birthday
by wild-filly
Summary: Something's bothering Yami Bakura and it's not just the stupid pharaoh... how are you supposed to throw a birthday party for a homicidal tomb robber?
1. Part I

Wild-filly: ^_^ this fic was originally only going to be a one-shot, but I've decided to extend it into a longer fic... enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Don't own, therefore please don't sue... it's not as if I have anything of value anyway -_-;;  
  
***  
  
Part I  
  
***  
  
It was a beautiful Sunday morning. Flocks of brightly coloured little birds chirped in the leafy oak tree that was the prominent feature of Ryou Bakura's back garden, as the mild-mannered Ryou sat cross-legged at the foot of said tree, peacefully meditating to forget his troubles. Or at least a certain one of them; more commonly in the form of a five thousand year-old tomb raider.  
  
Yes, the resident tomb robber was not impressed about something. There was absolutely nothing unusual about this turn of affairs, since the Spirit of the Millennium Ring was known to argue with and lose an argument against inanimate objects, however what was unusual was the fact that he wasn't bothering Ryou about it. Ordinarily the hapless young Ryou would be the first person to be complained at in the case of something irritating the one time King of Thieves; this time there seemed to actually be something wrong.  
  
Ryou released a withheld breath, a stray lock of white hair flicking down into one of his chocolate-brown eyes. How on earth was he supposed to relax in this complete serenity?! The absence of his darker counterpart making a racket in some room of the house as he wrestled with the toaster, broke the TV or tried to order a pizza without paying afterwards was most disturbing.  
  
There was no way this madness could continue decided Ryou as he scrambled clumsily to his feet, dusting off a few leaves before making his way towards the newly painted back door; a previous victim of the tomb raider's wrath. Clattering up the stairs, haphazardly avoiding the trail of destruction in his yami's wake, Ryou noted that the most profound silence was coming from his own room. Tentatively pressing one ear against the door, the young duellist realised that the door was not locked as he tipped over sideways and crashed to the floor of his room.  
  
Startled by the sudden flying open of the door and the flailing entrance of his hikari, the fearless tomb robber leapt to his feet with inhuman speed and dove into the closet, peering out at the intruder with a terrified expression. After observing the moaning attacker to be no more than his incompetent mortal "associate", Yami Bakura clambered back out of the closet, untangled himself from a tennis racket, a pair of sneakers and particularly aggressive jumper and tried to regain some of his lost dignity.  
  
"What are you doing in here, you foolish mortal?"  
  
"I happen to live here, and this is my room!"  
  
Yami Bakura snorted and turned away from his defensive light counterpart, leaning his elbows pensively on the windowsill and surveying the sunny street below with a dark glare. Ryou allowed himself a slight smile of triumph – the Spirit had returned to something approaching normal.  
  
"What's wrong with you anyway?"  
  
The ancient tomb robber stiffened, freezing in his rigid position and eyes devoid of expression. His head lowered, bedraggled white hair hiding his face from view. Now Ryou was worried; the tomb raider had several modes; psychotic, egotistic, moronic and megalomaniac. Depressive was a new one, and Ryou had only just figured out how to control the other four; predominantly through threatening to cut back the thief's sugar and caffeine supply.  
  
Just how did one cheer up a miserable five thousand or so year old tomb raider with a deep grudge against the pharaoh and a goal to possess all the Millennium Items and ultimately rule the world?  
  
Well, besides murder the pharaoh and hand him the Millennium Items and ownership rights to the world in a nice gift-wrapped box that is...  
  
"Come on Spirit, what's bothering you now? Have you broken something that I'm about to get really annoyed about?"  
  
Not that it was likely of the tomb robber to try this tact, judging by the fact he had none of said tact to start with.  
  
Several minutes crawled by and neither hikari nor yami moved. It was a standoff of sorts, one that Ryou was certain to win, as he was the more patient of the two. The most likely consequence was that the resident psycho would grow bored of the silence, yell out what his problem was as well as a few of his hikari's and then storm off downstairs to find some coffee.  
  
Finally the eerie silence was shattered.  
  
"FINE! I'M SICK OF THIS STUPID SILENCE! DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY, UNDERSTAND? IT'S MY 5214TH BIRTHDAY TODAY AND NO ONE HAS REMEMBERED!"  
  
With that enlightening outburst, Yami Bakura shoved past Ryou, tripped on a skateboard, fell down the stairs and strode, cursing in Ancient Egyptian, into the kitchen.  
  
Ryou Bakura stood in complete and utter astonishment as the cursing continued in languages he couldn't understand, accompanied by a resounding clatter as the kettle was violently thrown back onto the counter and jar of coffee smashed on the floor. The cursing took on a more violent edge and one that Ryou began to recognise as Japanese. Absentmindedly kicking the bedroom door shut and collapsing onto his scruffy, unmade bed, Ryou struggled to believe that after all these years, the tomb robber could still remember what day his birthday was on.  
  
What should he do? Judging by the rather inventive curses that were echoing through the house and contaminating the ears of innocent neighbourhood children within a five-kilometre radius, it would not be a good idea to let this go unnoticed.  
  
With a slightly evil and very uncharacteristic grin on his face, Ryou delved around on the floor for his mobile phone; almost invisible for all the piles of junk and stolen property broken or hoarded by the Spirit of the Millennium Ring.  
  
*  
  
"YAMI! WHAT DID YOU DO WITH THE REMOTE CONTROL?"  
  
The King of Games looked up from his magazine, basking in self-importance as he read and reread his interview with Duelling Today as the undisputed champion of duel monsters. It was hard work being a living legend. Well... more or less living.  
  
"'I DIDN'T TOUCH THE REMOTE CONTROL! THAT THING IS POSSESSED!"  
  
From where he was tearing apart the living room trying to locate the illusive electrical appliance, Yugi rolled his huge purple eyes. The Spirit was paranoid of anything that sprang to life without warning; even the TV remote after it gave him a considerable fright when he sat down on it by accident and flicked on the TV. It was the first exposure Yami had ever had to Barney the Dinosaur, and he did not enjoy it one bit. The pharaoh was now deathly afraid of purple dinosaurs in all shapes and forms; even in duel monsters.  
  
"ARE YOU SURE YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT? I'VE LOOKED EVERYWHERE!"  
  
Sighing resignedly, Yami Yugi sprang up from his comfortable position sprawled out on his bed, complete with Dark Magician duvet and pillow. Twisting athletically through the air, the King of Games landed feet first with a nasty crunch. Purple eyes widening in horror, believing that he had somehow damaged one of his perfect feet, the pharaoh's concern turned to relief as he shuffled his right foot to one side to reveal the shattered remains of some kind of black rectangle now emitting a sad series of dying sparks.  
  
Yami observed the rectangle, deep in thought. Now where had he seen that thing before? Before the King of Games could reach a conclusion, a demonic creature shrieked bloodthirstily at him. With a yelp of fear, the yami lunged for the closet, forgetting to open it in the process and giving himself a mild concussion against the white-painted oak door.  
  
A far off voice was answering the telephone, "hello, Kame Game Shop, Yugi Motou speaking".  
  
A couple of minutes passed with the pharaoh still crumpled in a dazed heap on the floor, limbs twitching slightly and eyes determinedly crossed. In the confusion that was Yami's mind at the moment, his eyes reported the sighting of a pair of feet padding towards him. His ears hastened to inform him of his hikari yelling at him to wake up.  
  
Yugi wasn't incredibly worried about the Spirit's health, especially since he was technically dead anyway; but it was a little disconcerting to have him unconscious on the floor.  
  
"Spirit, wake up!"  
  
No response.  
  
"Spirit, Barney the Dinosaur is coming!"  
  
The pharaoh's eyes shot open, lurching to his feet with a look of utter terror on his face.  
  
"NO! The evil dinosaur! Where is it?!"  
  
Yami stopped his panicked scanning of the surroundings to observe his hikari rolling on the floor almost choking with laughter.  
  
"Oh very funny"  
  
Yugi choked back another heave, "sorry Spirit, that was Ryou on the floor. We're going out to his house tonight."  
  
Yami blinked, "any particular reason why?"  
  
"We're going to meet Tea, Joey, Tristan, Kaiba, Mokuba, Ishizu and Marik at the mall first though".  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Then we're all going over to see Ryou at about four thirty".  
  
"WOULD YOU PLEASE TELL ME WHY?!"  
  
Yugi's eyes widened in shock, "there's no need to shout; it's for Yami Bakura's surprise birthday party".  
  
Now it was Yami's turn to roll on the floor howling.  
  
"The psycho tomb raider? That's hilarious! Will we all have to wear those little paper hats and have him blow out candles on a cake?!"  
  
Yugi ignored the Spirit as the previously unmentioned problem with exposing the thief to fire was brought up. How on earth were they going to get birthday presents for Yami Bakura without putting anyone's life in danger?  
  
*  
  
After Yami had recovered from his concussion and Yugi finished screaming at him for breaking the remote, the two duellists headed for the Domino shopping mall; forbidden territory to all yamis until now, for fear of what would happen if they suddenly decided it was time to be paranoid of all electronic appliances.  
  
Waiting at the foot of a particularly nasty-looking escalator, Yugi eagerly greeted the small group gathered there as Yami proceeded to regard the escalator with an apprehensive glare.  
  
Joey could barely conceal a snicker as he sidled over to Yugi, "can you believe we're trying to do something nice for that homicidal maniac?"  
  
Yugi grinned, "it's only the right thing to do, after all, we'd be pretty upset if someone completely forgot our birthday".  
  
Joey shrugged, 'I suppose'.  
  
A slight commotion taking place over towards one of the main mall entrances suddenly caught the group's attention. Loud shrieks were coming from a set of double glass doors. Wandering over to see what was the matter, Yugi nearly collapsed with laughter again in a short period of time. Joey collapsed for the first, along with Yami, Tristan and Mokuba.  
  
Marik was hanging onto the doorframe, blatantly refusing to enter the wretched mall as his sister Ishizu heaved on a corner of his shirt, trying to tow him into the building.  
  
"I AM NEVER ENTERING THIS STUPID PLACE AGAIN, I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENED LAST TIME!"  
  
Ishizu sighed, noticing Yami and hurriedly letting go of her brother to pay due respects to the pharaoh. The pressure suddenly released, Marik momentarily hovered in midair before clattering to the floor with a string of Egyptian curses. Ishizu ignored her brother and walked dignifiedly over to Yugi, Yami, Tea, Joey, Tristan, Mokuba and Ryou.  
  
"Forgive this noise please, my brother did not enjoy his last excursion to this place".  
  
Yugi nodded, hardly able to believe what he was hearing, "was there any particular reason why?"  
  
Ishizu nodded, "I needed to refill my wardrobe to suit our holiday in Domino better and Marik agreed to accompany me to learn how to behave appropriately in a shopping centre while not reverting to his old ways. Unfortunately, he didn't seem to enjoy following me around clothing shops the whole time and after the first three hours or so was positively furious. The next three and my refusal to let him catch the bus back to the hotel seemed to do worse for him".  
  
Yugi's humoured expression turned to one of pity. He could imagine himself, Joey or Tristan going insane doing the same thing.  
  
Muttering darkly to himself, Marik hobbled over to join them. "You're here to get the tomb robber birthday gifts as well?"  
  
Yami nodded, still snickering at the tomb keeper's misfortune. Apart from Yami Bakura, it couldn't have happened to a nicer homicidal maniac. Sure, Marik was supposed to be reformed, but he still had a lot of work until he graduated and gained his "Not Insane" certificate in most people's eyes.  
  
Ryou stepped forward, "I'm sorry to hurry us along like this, but I told my Yami I'd be back in an hour or so, so we really need to hurry and get back soon!"  
  
"By all means", muttered Marik, glaring at the chirpy Ryou, "I just can't believe I'm actually in this hideous place again".  
  
*  
  
Yami's earlier prediction seemed to becoming a prominent feature in everyone's view as the unruly mob ambled around the shops on offer.  
  
"What do you think he'd like?"  
  
Everyone turned to Tristan, who'd just asked that foolish question. Tristan continued, "I mean, he's a thief and all, would he like a lock-pick set or something?"  
  
"He has several", said Ryou gloomily, "I used to keep my money in a locked box, along with three of his lock-picking sets I confiscated".  
  
Marik snorted, "knowing that moron, he'd want some kind of knife. Preferably knives"  
  
Ryou shook his head violently, "no more knives. I'm serious about that".  
  
Yugi sighed, "so what can we get him that he will like, but will not put any of us in immediate danger or prove a future health hazard?"  
  
A deafening silence ensued, punctured only by the bustle of merry shoppers purchasing gifts for people who weren't homicidal menaces to society. Joey suddenly perked up, "I know!"  
  
Everyone turned to Joey in surprise and anticipation, amazed that he'd managed to think of something even the "supposedly intelligent" (opinion being largely divided) pharaoh and King of Games couldn't think of. Joey grinned widely, "go to a little kid's department! They have all those labels with stuff like 'safe for under threes' and all that – there's no way he'll be able to hurt himself or anyone else with all that junk!"  
  
Ryou grinned, "perfect!"  
  
*  
  
Stumbling cautiously around a shelf stacked with strange pastel-coloured things that jingled in a most disturbing fashion, Yami nervously kept an eye out for the dreaded purple dinosaur Yugi warned him that did lurk around this floor. He would have to be careful. Using every inch of his cunning to avoid the monstrosity that had terrorized him so in the past. Even the opening bars of that foul song were enough to send him running for his sanity. Crawling army-style around a corner and stalking carefully down the next aisle, Yami tentatively watched a large purple dog in case it may suddenly mutate into a reptile, until he smacked headlong into something large and plushy.  
  
Looking up and squinting through his blond bangs, Yami's eyes widened incredibly and his jaw fell open, mouth quivering in fear. It was the personification of his worst nightmare.  
  
A hapless store clerk who had drawn the short straw and had been forced to dress up in the ridiculous Barney costume and parade around the kiddy section was most perplexed to find a young man crawling around on the floor. He seemed quite terrified out of his wits. Having stopped to ask him whether or not he had dropped something, the spiky-haired adolescent had bumped into him by accident, frozen for an instant and then bolted with incredible speed, shrieking something in a language he couldn't understand.  
  
The clerk blinked. That was odd.  
  
Marik was having fun trying out one of the mountain bikes when he was rudely attacked by a screaming ancient ruler. Lurching out from nowhere, Marik glanced up from checking the gears just in time to see a pile of flailing limbs come crashing down on top of him, sending both Marik and the bike flying into a crumpled pile.  
  
"PHARAOH! GET OFF ME BEFORE I KILL YOU!"  
  
Yami was stunned, limbs twitching and still gibbering in fear, "the purple dinosaur, the purple dinosaur nearly got me........."  
  
Marik was not happy at all – his leg was pinned in a most painful fashion between the ground and the spokes of one of the wheels, along with the pharaoh sprawled on top of him in a most distressing manner. The fact he was in this evil shopping mall again added to his list of "Reasons Why Megalomania is such a Good Idea".  
  
Yami finally regained enough sense to disentangle himself from the bike and sat beside the wreckage, head still spinning whilst Marik lay spread-eagled in complete and utter fury. His leg was wedged completely through one of the wheels and was hurting to no small degree. Why oh why had he given Yugi the Millennium Rod.........  
  
"What the hell is wrong with you?!"  
  
Yami declined to answer, continuing his terrified gibbering even as Yugi came to find out just what his darker side had done this time. With one expert glance, Yugi shook his head sadly at Marik.  
  
"It was the dinosaur again. It always has this affect on him".  
  
Marik mentally placed the list of reasons for megalomania aside and replaced it with "Possible Blackmail or Potential Torture Devices". The Game King would pay when it came to his birthday party...... how about a nice Barney the Dinosaur theme?  
  
Vagually recalling the evil look in Marik's eyes, Yugi decided it would probably be safer to change the subject, "so, have you had any luck finding a present yet?"  
  
Jolted back to reality and remembering the popular and completely unoriginal slogan of 'you break it, you bought it', Marik slowly turned to face the mangled pile of wheels, chains and warped purple metal frame that was once a new mountain bike.  
  
"Well....... it's unlikely he'll be able to do any damage with this."  
  
Yugi surveyed the tortured remains and chuckled weakly, "I suppose it would have wound up looking like that anyway; this at least saves time".  
  
Gingerly gathering up the mountain-bike in kit form, Marik stumbled off among the shelves, attempting to locate an illusive checkout desk whilst continuing to plot the pharaoh's downfall....... In the form of a large purple dinosaur.  
  
The King of Games continued to mutter to himself on the floor, catching the attention of a number of small children and their scowling parents. Grinning in attempt to mask the abnormalcy of the situation, Yugi tugged at the petrified pharaoh's leather shirt.  
  
"Come on Yami, you're upsetting the kids"  
  
"No... the dinosaur is somewhere on this floor. I can't move or it'll find me!"  
  
"Yami, if you stay here any longer it will DEFINITELY find you!"  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Dinosaurs have really good senses of smell".  
  
"How do you know?"  
  
"Some random science textbook".  
  
"How could the author know?"  
  
"I don't know! Come on..."  
  
Hauling with all his strength, Yugi managed to tow the King of Games to his feet and shuffle him into the relative safety of the soft-toy section. Dumping the pharaoh inbetween a massive stuffed teddy bear and fluffy pink unicorn, the hikari decided to just leave him to come to his senses in his own time. Shuffling around the shelves and inwardly marvelling at the jungle of animals and deranged human plushies that were available, Yugi noted the presence of a rather unusual member of the fluffy community.  
  
Yes, in the sea of pastel shades, outsized eyes and enough fluff to supply a sofa-stuffing industry for a year, was a flash of black almost suffocated by the Disney-ness of the whole situation. Delving into the pile of unrealistically cute safari animals, from out of the mountain a fluffy vampire bat rose to the surface. Yugi surveyed the bat critically. It was small and black with short little wings, as well as little white fangs complete with bloodstains. Quite cute actually. It was also fitted with an elastic rope, so the owner could make the bat "fly" unrealistically in a bouncy, jerky fashion.  
  
Perfect.  
  
*  
  
wild-filly: please review! Next chapter should be up soon ^_^ 


	2. Part II

Wild-filly: Wow! ^_^ Many thanks to everyone who has reviewed! Unlike my other fics, I'll try to keep the disclaimer and random ramblings to a bare minimum so I can complete this fic as soon as possible – my "holiday homework" and challenge; can I actually start and finish a fanfiction within a deadline?! My guess – not a chance, but either way on with the update! ^_^  
  
Disclaimer: still don't own...  
  
***  
  
Part II  
  
***  
  
Meanwhile, Ryou, Tristan and Mokuba were ambling several shelves away, discussing one of the more meaningful questions of the world.  
  
"Why on earth do you want to get him a jigsaw puzzle?!"  
  
"I dunno... it's something isn't it?"  
  
"I suppose he wouldn't he able to hurt anything with it...."  
  
"I'm not so sure about that. I spent ages building this jigsaw on the floor of Seto's study so that he'd have a chance to see it, except he came storming in through the door and didn't look where he was going. I had no idea jigsaw pieces were that slippery..."  
  
Tristan blinked, "what do you mean by that?"  
  
Mokuba glanced away from where he had been momentarily dazed by the overwhelming pink realm that was the Barbie section, "so much pink... can't escape... sorry what was that, Tristan?"  
  
"What do you mean by that jigsaw is slippery?"  
  
"Oh that... big brother came crashing through the door and slipped on the puzzle while I was nearly finished. He went skidding across the room and nearly went flying out one of the huge windows behind his desk. I told him to be careful, but did he listen? Nooooo..."  
  
Mokuba stared at Ryou and Tristan in confusion. Both were hanging onto the nearby shelves almost choking with laughter. The image of Kaiba's expression in their heads as he skidded on a jigsaw puzzle and went hurtling towards an open window was priceless. Swiftly regaining his calm demeanour, Ryou smiled sympathetically at the confused Mokuba and continued scanning the bright shelves.  
  
"If you want to get him a jigsaw Tristan, that's fine with me. My house doesn't have any large windows upstairs at least. You may want to check for a choking hazard though". There was an unusually evil glint in the docile hikari's eye; perhaps this was the closest thing to revenge he'd ever had.  
  
Tristan almost sighed with relief; this shopping business was not something he enjoyed on a regular basis, and either way, hanging around the toy department of a mall was not the coolest thing to be seen doing. Unless of course you are a member of a weird group of friends, at which case it is perfectly normal to head for toy departments as often as possible and do unnatural things to the plastic animal figures. **A/N: *cough* please don't ask **  
  
"What kind of jigsaw do you think he would like?"  
  
Mokuba took off in the direction of the board games section, returning moments later with a candy-pink box and evil grin firmly in place.  
  
Tristan stared down at the box he had been handed, "uh... Ryou do you think he'd like a jigsaw called 'Barbie and Forest Friends'?"  
  
Distracted, Ryou replied, "yeah, I'm sure he'll like it; just make sure that it's safe for under threes".  
  
Tristan stared at the box apprehensively lest the pinkness of it prove contagious. He could scarcely believe that Mokuba had actually been brave enough to pick it up, let alone be seen carrying it. Gingerly turning the offensive item over and scanning the recommendation label, he nodded his head – the pieces were about the size of dinner plates... not that he wouldn't put it past the thief to somehow swallow one.  
  
Mokuba surveyed Ryou in surprise, wondering just why the hikari had agreed to his mocking selection. It turned out that Ryou was no longer there.  
  
"Hey Tristan! Where'd Ryou go?"  
  
"Huh?" Finally torn from the hypnotic powers of the evil pink box, Tristan's intellectual response fell only on Mokuba's ears. Ryou indeed was no longer within earshot. Mokuba capered down an adjacent aisle, "let's split up and look for him!"  
  
As the hyperactive child vanished from view, Tristan privately disagreed – there was no way that he was going to be seen carrying a Barbie jigsaw puzzle around the little kids' section of a shopping mall. I mean, honestly! No, he was going to search like fury for the nearest cash register, purchase the stupid thing and ask for the thickest, heaviest and most macho bag to put it in. If anyone saw fit to try and steal his bag later, then he would deny all ownership of it.  
  
That decided, Tristan jogged off in the direction he prayed was the right one for the cash registers. Sadly, he was mistaken and instead finally stopped at the very back of the shop, resulting in his having to double back and further increase his exposure to the crowds of children and perplexed adults as he ran past, face scarlet with humiliation. Life just sucks, doesn't it? That's why we all love it so...  
  
So where had Ryou got to? Mokuba finally spied the albino adolescent talking to a sales assistant by the train section of the shelf catacomb. He blinked, taking in the cheery dialogue between the assistant and duellist as they discussed a common affection for electric trains. Trains? Ryou?? Well that was unanticipated...  
  
Glimpsing the younger Kaiba, Ryou called him over, beckoning to the large box stood beside him.  
  
"Come and have a look at this!"  
  
Mokuba sidled over, staring at the box curiously, "what is that, Bakura?"  
  
Ryou grinned, eyes closed in delight, "it's the coolest train set ever! See... it has all these little train tracks and electric signs and little people and carriages and train lights and bridges and plants to go on the outside and gravel for the tracks and- "  
  
The overjoyed hikari was forced to halt his praise of the train set in order to fulfil the relatively unimportant task of breathing, face an unusual shade of blue as a result of oxygen depravation. Deciding not to press facts any further, for fear he would be lectured on the magnificence of trains until his ears bled, Mokuba nodded encouragingly and took the earliest opportunity to sneak off. At least if the tomb robber didn't like his present, then Ryou could have it.  
  
In hindsight, that was probably the idea after all.  
  
In fact, Ryou was predicting his cantankerous Yami to resent being given a birthday party like some child and instantly feign disinterest in all the gifts. Ryou could then play with the trains to his heart's content and maybe his Yami would even take an interest in them. The only problem that could arise here would be if that the tomb raider suddenly decided to reclaim his present.  
  
Oh well... you win some, you lose some. Hopefully he'd have a chance to hide some of the pieces before that clumsy moron of a thief could break them.  
  
*  
  
Yami yawned. Being terrified out of your wits certainly took it out of you. Lodged quite comfortably between the massive stuffed bear and warped unicorn, he surveyed the blissfully purple-dinosaur-free world that was this poky little section of the shopping mall. Ah... peace at last. Even his hikari was gone.  
  
Why was he here again? Oh yeah, the stupid tomb robber's birthday. What an idiot... The tomb robber that is; not him. No, not he; the wonderful pharaoh and best-looking King of Games ever. Was he the only King of Games ever? Unlikely... he'd have to look into it. Maybe he could ask Yugi, since he seemed to think he knew everything; arrogant hikari.... What was I doing again? Oh yeah, try to keep up with your train of thought Yami...  
  
Leaping gracefully from where he was stationed on the floor, Yami resumed his stealth crawling around the shelves, ever on the lookout for the evil creature of doom. Why on earth did some people find such a creature endearing? It was pure evil; spouting malicious subliminal messages to children of all ages; a terrifying force that must be stopped at all costs.  
  
Little did Yami know (obviously), that he was actually right for once. The producers of Barney the Dinosaur were all banking on the fact that the millions of innocent children who were daily exposed to this monster would one day turn into homicidal maniacs in protest. At which point, they, the producers, would all be handsomely paid-off by all of the lawyers and mental facilities in the world for their influx of new clients and pay supplies. What a corrupt little world we live in. At least Yami Yugi and all his reliable traits were on a mission to prevent this obscenity.  
  
But how was he supposed to face his fears and combat the evil dinosaur when he was due to find some sort of random gift of well-wishing for the stupid tomb robber? Not that he wished the "person" in question anything well at all. Better he retreat his attack and formulate a plan later, rather than attempt to take down the evil creature with his mind split on two tasks. Where the hell was his stupid hikari when he was needed?!  
  
Leaping from the floor once again and calmly striding past the shelves as though nothing had happened, the former pharaoh was fixed with nervous stares from most of the population while small children pointed and snickered at his less-than-conspicuous hairstyle.  
  
"Hey mommy! That guy's head looks like a starfish!"  
  
The pharaoh froze. He had no idea what a starfish was, but he had a nasty feeling that it may in some way be associated with the dinosaur. Either way, he had been insulted. Rounding on the startled child with every inch of his ancient regalness, Yami looked down his nose contemptuously at the three- year old boy wearing a bright Barney t-shirt and sneered.  
  
"And how are you, mere child, brainwashed by the evil purple dinosaur, allowed to compare myself to some minion of the evil creature? I shall find the source of this evil and destroy the beast once and for all, then you shall see daylight for once. There will be no more starfish in this world".  
  
"MOMMY!!"  
  
Yami folded his arms and smirked in satisfaction. He had successfully converted one of the brainwashed children, or at least made them seriously reconsider their choice of leader. Opening his eyes to turn away and continue on his half-hearted search, it appeared to the pharaoh that the lights in the room had suddenly darkened. No, they hadn't darkened; they had simply been blocked from view.  
  
Although not the tallest person in the world, Yami was impressed at just how imposing the apparent "mommy" of the child he had just rescued was. She appeared to be more giant than human and the look on her face was not one of a delighted parent whose child has just been saved.  
  
"What in God's name do you mean, frightening my child like that, you little juvenile delinquent?!"  
  
Yami didn't answer, as his brain struggled to translate this into Egyptian. He had no idea what a juvenile delinquent was. Drawing himself to his full and completely unremarkable height, he glared up at the glowering woman.  
  
"Madam, my intentions were to save your son from the evil that has penetrated his mind and stolen his soul. Barney the Dinosaur must be stopped at all costs".  
  
"SECURITY! THIS JUVENILE DELINQUENT IS PREACHING ABOUT SOME SATANIC CULT!!"  
  
Once again, Yami had absolutely no idea what she was talking about and only when three heavily muscled security guards leapt on him did he realise that she was not singing his praises at all.  
  
"This is a mistake! I was guiding the child back to the light!"  
  
"Sure you were kid, now just be quiet. Have you got a lawyer?"  
  
"I am the King of Games and pharaoh! I demand in Ra's name that you release me!"  
  
The security guard doing the talking hauled the indignant pharaoh to his feet, "look buddy, I don't care what religion you're from, but you have no right to impose it on other people. We're going to take you to the police station down the street".  
  
Yami blinked in horror, "but I can't leave! My hikari will kill me if I get arrested!"  
  
"Your hikari?"  
  
"Yes, my hikari!"  
  
All three of the guards exchanged nervous glances. Nothing in their fairly basic training had prepared them for a possible satanic cult build-up in their shopping mall. This called for some serious reinforcement.  
  
"You'd better not say anything else sir, you're only incriminating yourself further".  
  
Yami continued to bask in complete confusion, "I've done nothing wrong! I'm the King of Games; it's my duty to help people who can't help themselves!"  
  
Technically it's not, he pondered, but that just sounded better. However it quite failed to reach the stressed and now seriously confused security members. Deciding just to haul this freak out of public sight, the one- time pharaoh was hoisted aloft by his elbows and marched out of the toy department, complaining loudly.  
  
"YOU CAN'T TREAT ME LIKE THIS! I AM PHARAOH!!"  
  
"Shut it right now buddy, or I'll have to help you".  
  
Confused as he was, even Yami was able to distinguish this as a threat.  
  
Joey was surveying the swimming pool toys when he heard the unmistakable arrogant tones of the King of Games heading his way. He blinked. Something was annoying the pharaoh; that much was obvious from the fact that he was now speaking in fluent Egyptian in especially strident levels. At least, Joey was sure it was Egyptian. The possibility that someone was having a seizure and was being escorted to the hospital was quite liable, however the accent definitely reminded him of his best friend's other half.  
  
Oh well. Sounds like Yugi's problem.  
  
What am I saying?! This is my best friend I'm talking about here!  
  
Serves him right for bringing the paranoid pharaoh along with him.  
  
No it doesn't! I'd better go help him.  
  
...Since when did I talk to myself?  
  
...  
  
That's better.  
  
Darting towards where the sound was trailing away, Joey remembered that he still hadn't found the stupid tomb robber's birthday present. Hurriedly grabbing the first thing he on the shelf in front of him, he bolted towards the checkout. Mercifully, the queue had just finished and he was able to throw down more money than was necessary and take off after the shrieking King of Games.  
  
He was sprinting out of the mall and weaving through traffic across the road towards the police station when he finally glanced down at the item he had purchased.  
  
It was a rubber ducky. Oh well. Better not put his name on the gift tag; let the tomb robber attack someone else at his expense.  
  
*  
  
"I can't believe that you managed to get arrested the instant I left you alone in a shopping mall!"  
  
"It's not my fault hikari!"  
  
"Oh yeah? Define how!"  
  
"I have absolutely no idea why they arrested me!"  
  
"Really? You were harassing a little kid wearing Barney the Dinosaur merchandise!"  
  
"That dinosaur is the leader of a dangerous cult; I know it!"  
  
"Just shut up... You're depressing me even more".  
  
Ishizu glanced in the rear view mirror back at the pharaoh and his hikari. She had been called in to serve as a "responsible adult" to bail the King of Games out of his holding cell, coupled with her fame as a museum exhibitionist. Yugi had followed Joey to the station, having also caught the melodious tones of Yami's cursing, but was not allowed to take the "deranged lunatic" into custody. The King of Games was still nursing his hurt pride now that it had been explained to him just what a satanic cult and juvenile delinquent was.  
  
"Yeah, can you guys just knock it off? Because of this, I had to grab a present without putting any thought into it".  
  
Yugi stared at Joey in surprise, "why would you put any thought into a present for Yami Bakura?"  
  
Joey shrugged, "I dunno... a rubber ducky still wasn't what I had in mind though".  
  
Yami glared at both of them, "well because of that misunderstanding and my wrongful conviction, I did not even have a chance to purchase some stupid gift for the stupid tomb robber".  
  
Mokuba sat up from where he was crouched on the floor, pretending he didn't exist for the benefit of the fact that Ishizu's hired car was not licensed to seat everyone. "Why don't you give him a copy of the mugshots the police took? He could have a good laugh at that!"  
  
Yami stared at the cheerful little child in horror; that kid was a true Kaiba.  
  
Yugi grinned, "well, it would certainly put your copies of the photos to good use, eh Spirit?"  
  
Yami declined an answer: he had no present, nor did he have any use for the embarrassing criminal record copies and either way it would probably be too much to hope for his hikari not to use the pictures as blackmail himself. At least this way the photos would be in the hands of someone too stupid to know how to exploit them best. In theory. Hopefully. Maybe.  
  
"It would appear that I am left with no choice. However it would be wise of you to remember, oh hikari, that you and I can be mistaken for each other quite easily".  
  
Yugi blinked, "meaning what?"  
  
Yami smirked, "I'm pretty sure that I could break out of prison, having been in that stupid little cell for all that time".  
  
Yugi blanched; he could just imagine the King of Games deliberately building him his own little criminal record with no effort whatsoever, especially if today's antics were anything to go by.  
  
"Fine, just don't do anything stupid".  
  
A mulish silence reigned, until Tea spoke up from where she was wedged between Ryou and the car door, "has anyone ordered a birthday cake?"  
  
Once again, silence ruled. If there had been any crickets in the vicinity, they would have chirped just to add to the mood.  
  
"I managed to grab some streamers, paper hats and party poppers; do I have to think of everything?!"  
  
Ishizu turned to face the back seat again, "I think there's a bakery nearby, maybe we could swing by it before we get back to Ryou's".  
  
Joey leant over and poked Ryou in the shoulder, "do you have any food at your place?"  
  
Startled from his comatose, partially carsick state, Ryou glanced back, "well... we should still have some soft drink and frozen pizza, provided the spirit hasn't tried going through the kitchen again. As long as he hasn't lit the stove and burnt down the other half of the kitchen, we should be fine".  
  
"The other half?"  
  
"Don't ask"  
  
"Wasn't going to"  
  
Ishizu sighed, "look, there's the turning here. Some of you pile out and grab the cake and I'll take the rest of you to a corner shop and we can grab more supplies. And possibly a fire extinguisher".  
  
The hired silver Toyota shuddered to a halt and one of the doors flew open, spilling four people onto the pavement much to the surprise of several passers-by. A hand reached out and hauled the door shut as the car took off down the road again. Ishizu was obviously a better museum coordinator than driver.  
  
Tea, Ryou, Yugi and Mokuba staggered into the tiny bakery and emerged a few minutes later, carrying a huge box and several packets of candles.  
  
"I can't believe they didn't have two thousand or so candles... what kind of a market are they supplying for?"  
  
"I doubt it's the market that includes ancient tomb robbers"  
  
"Honestly, you just can't get the service these days"  
  
"Speaking of service, when's Ishizu getting back?"  
  
Standing at the side of the road looking very much like escaped mental patients that had just robbed a bakery, they were forced to endure the stares of drivers and innocent bystanders alike until Ishizu arrived. Squashing back into the protesting car, the licensed five seater and its nine passengers took off into the sunset. In theory, there should have been ten passengers, however it appeared that Kaiba had in fact bailed out on the suggestion of attending the thief's birthday party. I wonder why anyone would want to do such a thing...  
  
*  
  
wild-filly: please review! 


	3. Part III

Wild-filly: Thanks again to everyone who has reviewed... I'll quit stalling since I'm well past the fic deadline – enjoy!

Disclaimer: Don't own, never will --

Part III

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"No"

"Are we there yet?"

"FOR THE LAST TIME NO! THE NEXT PERSON TO ASK ME IS GETTING THROWN OUT THE CAR WITHOUT STOPPING FIRST!!"

Ishizu had swirled around to face them, completely ignoring the traffic as the car continued to plough haphazardly through the street. Everyone quailed and shrank back against the cheap upholstery, unable to look her in the eye. She truly was quite terrifying when annoyed, with what seemed to be the standard Ishtar Death Glare ™ and deranged steering.

Nervously, Ryou opened his mouth only to be met with the full power of Ishizu's furious demeanour.

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU WANT?!"

"Err... I don't mean to offend you in any way, but we passed my house about three turnings ago".

The Toyota screeched to a halt, navigated a highly illegal turn through the traffic lanes and took off back the way they came, Ishizu almost gnawing at the steering wheel in fury.

Joey slid a glance to Marik, who was staring out of the window wearing a completely nonchalant expression.

"Hey Marik, I think I see where you may have picked up the whole mental issues thing".

Now Joey was being glared at by two enraged Ishtars. He sank deeper into the seat, no longer sandwiched so tightly together by Yugi and Yami on either sides as both the hikari and pharaoh tried to scramble out of range. "Sorry I said anything?"

Ishizu gave him one last venomous glance before returning her attention to the road, Marik however maintained his murderous glare right up until the moment the car pulled up into Ryou's driveway, at which point he was promptly flattened by the surging mass of people trying to get out of the car. Joey joined the others in the scramble and determinedly ensured that there were at least three people between him and either of the Ishtar siblings, neither of whom appeared to feel any kind of good will towards him.

Clutching a battered cake box and plastic bag stuffed full of random, gaudy party supplies, Tea pulled Ryou aside. "Is there any way you can distract your Yami for long enough just so we can set everything up?"

Ryou nodded anxiously, "uhh yes... I'm not sure. There's one way we can get him out of the house, but I doubt it will be possible, since he now has a court restraining order from approaching ANY icecream van".

Tea blinked, "what happened with the icecream van?"

He shuffled his feet, sighing, "well I suppose it was partially my fault. I should never have let him go find out what icecream was in the first place, but I just wanted him to get out of the house so I could try to put out the flames in the kitchen without him making the whole process even harder than it already was".

Yugi wandered over, sympathetic grin in place, "I think I see where this is going. Yami would probably have reacted in a similar way if an icecream truck ever stopped near our house".

Catching his name, Yami looked down his nose arrogantly at his grinning hikari, "I resent your judgement of me to be on the same level as that you give the honourless thief. And what on earth is an icecream truck?"

"Never mind Yami. You probably wouldn't like it"

"No? Why not?"

"Because I would probably try to kill you afterwards"

"Ah"

Ryou shuddered, "I sent him outside and after I managed to put the fire out, I stuck my head out around the front door to see what was taking him so long and it turned out that he had managed to hijack the van and successfully crash it into one of the neighbour's gardens". Shaking his head in disdain, he continued, "his explanation for his actions was that he wanted to save time and steal all of the strange sugar by-products at once; however the horseless chariot proved impossible to control. In other words, sugar has a bad affect on him to the point that he is now no longer allowed within a fifty metre range of any food-distributing vehicle".

Ryou glared as his collection of friends and random associates snickered appreciatively, each picturing Yami Bakura's "adventure" perfectly in their minds. Tea stopped first and glared at everyone else until they followed suit.

"Right; some of us need to convince an icecream truck to come down this stretch of road. Ryou, you make sure that Yami Bakura gets out of the house and chases after it and the rest of us will set up the party and wait you to get back. If you're not back in three hours, we'll all come down to the local police station and try to bail you out, ok?"

Tristan scratched his head in confusion, "how are we supposed to get some random icecream-truck-guy to deliberately drive down the street home to a known maniac with a bad past history?"

Marik grinned, "Yugi, you don't by any chance have the Millennium Rod anywhere nearby do you?"

Yugi shook his head, "no, to the best of my knowledge it's still at home".

As Marik's face fell, Ryou gave a slight cough, catching the group's attention. Sheepishly he muttered, "I was going to make him return it today but..."

Marik was glaring at the woebegone Ryou with such hatred it was almost funny, "that stupid tomb robber has MY Millennium Rod?!"

"Technically it's Yugi's..." chipped in Yami, but as Marik glared at him in a way so remisant of both his sister and schizophrenic form that he shut up. Ryou raised his hands in mock surrender, "no! I took it off him and buried it in the garden where he wouldn't find it".

Marik's look of anger turned to one of horror, "you buried it? In the filthy ground?! Do you have any idea how long it takes to polish it to its former glory after it's gotten dirty?"

Sweatdropping, Ryou shook his head and hurried off, clumsily scaling the garden fence and disappearing from view. Ishizu stared reproachfully at her younger brother for a moment, "does anyone have a mobile phone?"

Tea produced one from her purse and Ishizu tapped in several numbers, walking away a couple of strides in order to search for the appropriate company in peace. Marik smirked, "I'll take control over one of their minds and have them send someone down here. As soon as the stupid tomb robber takes off after it, I'll have them drive away and stay out of range. That way the police won't get involved and I'll have successfully annoyed the grave robber in return for his birthday gift". Yugi didn't like the look on the "reformed" megalomaniac's face. It was too much like the unreformed megalomaniac they all used to know and love.

"Marik? I'm pretty sure that I could use the Millennium Rod for this one"

The Egyptian's mauve eyes widened in shock, "you? Never! I am the one who has the most prowess over it, therefore I should be the one!"

"But you gave it to me!"

"I still deserve it more!"

Before yet another round of verbal tennis could ensue, Ryou clambered over the fence again, clutching the Millennium Rod wrapped in a blanket. Yugi stepped forward expectantly, but Marik leaped towards it eagerly, snatching it out of Ryou's hands and hugging it as though it were a beloved stuffed toy. Everyone sweatdropped, stepping a little further away from the tomb keeper while Yugi decided against trying to pry it from Marik's adoring hands for favour of maintaining breathing.

Ishizu returned, obviously not impressed that her brother had once again resumed control of the Millennium item he had oh-so-kindly killed their father with, but handed him over the phone all the same. In a matter of moments, some poor person miles away was being forced into an icecream truck and given very specific orders to bypass all other customers just to drive down one specific street.

"Spirit?"

A deafening silence was Ryou's only reply.

"Spirit! I know you can hear me!"

Yet more silence. A box of crickets was released in the background so they could chirp and complete the mood, however they unfortunately met with an untimely end at the hands, or more accurately, the claws of the tomb robber's homemade mouse-insect-potential-hikari-and-pharaoh-dispatching-trap, thus thwarting the author's pathetic attempt to set the scene.

"SPIRIT!!!!"

Ryou scuffed his battered training shoes against the scorched carpet, muttering under his breath, "I knew I shouldn't have thought to tell him that there's an unregistered icecream van heading this way".

In a turn of speed that would shame sound and give lightning a nasty shock, the tomb raider (not Lara Croft, fools!) materialised at Ryou's elbow like a vampiric butler from those old movies. "Icecream van?"

Ryou nodded, staring pointedly at a knife gouge in the wall, "I thought you couldn't hear me".

"I was just ignoring you".

"I figured".

"Hang on a minute, why would you be telling me this?" The tomb robber's old suspicion rose to the surface, temporarily suspending its evil glee at the prospect of another icecream van joyride.

Ryou took a deep breath; he couldn't lie to save his life, "It's a birthday treat since you were so depressed earlier; you get to attack an innocent law-abiding, inoffensive citizen and I won't give you grief about it afterwards".

Yami Bakura's eyes narrowed, "I wasn't depressed! How dare you accuse me of being depressed? I've never been depressed in my life!"

Ryou chuckled inwardly; what a clever loophole in that comment, "I thought you were technically dead?"

"That's besides the point!" The tomb robber was now blushing an unusual beet-red which clashed horribly with his white hair. Had he been wearing a green sweater he could have passed off easily as an early Christmas decoration, or possibly a colourblind lunatic.

Ryou sighed, "Look, I'm going to go continue scraping the ash off the ceiling, so you go and attack that poor innocent and pretend you're sneaking out and doing this only to irritate me, ok?"

The psychotic thief blinked and then smiled, eyes bent in a most uncharacteristic cheerful expression, "this is the best birthday present ever!"

As the thief vanished upstairs to recover his assortment of knives, lock-picking sets and other threats to society, Ryou chuckled and hoisted his present over his shoulders, disappearing into the living room. It was amazing how inobservant the tomb robber could be.

"Shut up! He's coming!" Hiding behind the shrubbery flanking the driveway that lead to Ryou Bakura's house, Yugi, Yami, Tea, Ishizu, Mokuba, Joey, Tristan, Marik and the possessively-clutched Millennium Rod were putting their amazing skills of camouflage to the test.

Dashing out the front door, the chalk-haired tomb robber jogged to the end of the driveway and stood expectantly at the kerb. Without even looking around, he groaned, "Pharaoh, if you're going to try spying on people behind bushes, get a haircut first would you?!"

"Stand up Yami!" hissed Yugi, "he hasn't seen the rest of us yet!"

Coughing uncomfortably, Yami struggled to his feet, shedding leaf litter and stammering furiously as he tried to think of an explanation for his presence.

"Tomb robber, there is a reason for my presence here" Now if only I could think of one, Yami mentally added.

Yami Bakura snorted arrogantly, "there's no need for you to explain pharaoh. You know fine you'll ever be half the man I am; I could only expect that you would hang around and hope to learn by example".

Choking, spluttering, even sneezing in fury, Yami couldn't even dignify that with an intelligible answer.

"Half the man you are?! I've seen the photographs of you stuck up that tree in the park!"

The arrogant stance slipped ever so slightly, "what tree?"

Yami snickered, "It was on the news you moron; you took fright when an ambulance drove past and bolted up a tree and then couldn't get down for vertigo".

"That's irrelevant! It was a very high tree!"

"It was a potted shrub, you idiot!"

"Potted shrub, potted tree, what's the difference?"

"It was a three-foot high shrub; that's the difference!"

The Spirit of the Millennium Ring was spared from having to invent a cunning response to that last, embarrassingly factual remark as a candy-floss pink icecream van came bowling down the road, swerving haphazardly and wreaking havoc on innocent pedestrians.

"Left a bit....how're you supposed to keep this thing straight?" muttered the wielder of the Millennium Rod from where he was sprawled on his stomach on the soggy mulch of the hedge's garden bed.

Ishizu threw her brother an exasperated look and hissed, "you drive that ridiculous motorbike everywhere – why can't you drive a stupid icecream van?"

Marik gritted his teeth, "do I see you driving it? Have you any idea how difficult it is to be controlling some moron's mind, driving a van with dodgy brakes, arguing with your know-it-all sister and trying to stay out of sight from some prehistoric jewellery thief with sadist issues?"

Ishizu's eyes widened strangely, "forget I asked"

As the van swept jerkily past where the tomb robber was waiting on the kerb with excitement, Yami Bakura lurched after it, lock-picking set between his teeth and maniacal grin playing across his face.

"GO!"

In a flurry of mulch, leaves, feet and Millennium Items, the strange assortment of hedge-dwellers abandoned their natural habitat and filed into Ryou's home. Ryou shook his head sadly as he surveyed the impressive leaf and muddy-footprint trail that now marched its way over the carpet, onto the kitchen tiles, up the stairs, into the cupboards and for some part, wound its way up the ceiling.

"Uhhh...people... I don't mean to sound like a nag, but how on earth did you manage to get footprints on the ceiling?"

"Because of this!" shrieked Yugi indignantly, from where he was being escorted along the ceiling from the ground by an assortment of "helpers". Joey grinned amiably, "we need someone to hang streamers from the ceiling, and no one else can reach by themselves".

"This is highly unsafe! I'm getting too much blood to the head!"

"Blood to the head is good for thinking"

"I don't want to do any thinking right now!"

"Quit complaining Yugi, just another eight rolls left"

"Spirit!! Help me!"

From where he was excavating the fridge and avoiding Tea's death glares as he tried to subtly pick at the cake, Yami heard the terrified cries of his hikari.

"I'M COMING YUGI!!!"

He tore out of the kitchen like a cheetah wearing rollerblades on an iceskating rink, flailing around the kitchen corner and bolting down the passage, barrelling into the living room and right into Joey. The King of Games went flying, knocking Joey off balance and also managing to collide with a selection of breakable items before coming to a sliding finish under the coffee table. Joey teetered and crashed into Tristan, who crashed into Mokuba, which well and truly ended the balancing act of Yugi's escort, sending all four into a pained pile on the floor. There was a distinct shredding noise as Yugi took out all of the streamers with him and they joined the groaning pile on the floor, wrapping everyone in festive shades.

"What was that noise?" Marik ambled into the room in confusion, tripped on the pile that was Yugi, Mokuba, Tristan and Joey, rolled into the coffee table, knocked off the coffee balanced on the coffee table, burned the pharaoh with said coffee and set the said pharaoh burned with said coffee on unsaid murderous rampage over the living room furniture. Tea heard the murderous screams and came to throw a bucket of cold water over whoever it was issuing them, only to fall over the pile that was Yugi, Mokuba, Tristan and Joey and dump the bucket of water over the partially-comatose Marik as Yami rampaged around them.

"COLD!!!!!"

"Shut up! He's coming!"

Freeze frame. Everyone's eyes widened and looked at each other. Except for Yami who was still shrieking in anger and pain and trying to vault over the TV set. Ryou hurried into the room with Ishizu, face faulted at the mess and hid behind the couch. Ishizu grabbed Marik by the fringe and dragged him yelping behind a different couch, doubtless to receive some kind of verbal abuse. Yugi untangled himself, stuck out a foot, tripped his insanely-screeching royal half and pretended to be invisible as the front door was shoved open and the thief king entered, darkly muttering about lunatic drivers and low-fat icecream.

As Yami Bakura strode past the living room door with the intention of heading for the kitchen and some serious food poisoning, he froze and stared in utter shock at the normally pristine living room.

"SURPRISE!!"

Ryou and Ishizu grinned out at him from behind the couch, Marik was ignoring him as he tried to wring the water out of his hair, Tea was rubbing her forehead and wincing, Yugi was poking Yami with the TV remote, Yami was unconscious, Mokuba was eating fistfuls out of a sugar bag and Joey and Tristan appeared to be unconscious on the carpet.

"I don't think it was necessary to point out the obvious".

Wild-filly: more soon


End file.
